In my last post, we discussed how grief afffects the body.
Now we lean into the reality, that while grief may seem the proverbial "long night of the soul" there is always a way out...and as I have shared with many...and many have shared with during my own descent to grief and darkness, the only way out is through.
When the lungs are impacted so heavily by emotions of grief and sadness, taking the next breath can seem daunting. Overwhelm is an easy extension of grief and sadness as it reflects the physical constriction that grief causes in the lungs. We attempt to breathe and find the physical restraints of the tension in our ribcage. The pent up emotion, stagnation as we describe it in Chinese medicine, that impedes deeper breath. This can lead to panic as we are unable to "take our next breath" and initiate change in our bodies.
The first breathing exercise I would like to introduce helps you to shift focus from what is no longer (your loss and equally the ability to take a deep breath) to RELEASE.
Let's try Release breathing. Our intention is to focus on the exhale. The letting go of what is stuck.
Find a comfortable position. I personally prefer remaining seated for this exercise, as longterm grief tends to make deeper breathing difficult and by sitting you let gravity assist deeper breath. If sitting is difficult, lying comfortably face up with one hand on below your navel and one hand at the middle of your chest is recommended.
Take three short breaths, allowing your abdomen to gently inflate as you inhale and gently fall as you exhale. Focus your attention on the exhale. Allow these first few breaths to be as deep or as shallow as your body allows. We are simply setting our focus on allowing the breath in and flow out.
Then inhale as deeply as you can comfortably through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth making a long “sssssssss” sound.
Pay attention the the soft deflating of your chest and relaxation it brings as the breath releases. Allow yourself to visualize the "ssss" sound as a balloon deflating.
I find this practice helpful before bed to help fall gently into sleep but actually stumbled upon this naturally while going through my own grief and restrained breathing pattern. I found myself "ssssssss" breathing in times of intense sadness and found profound relief in staying in the moment of breath and abandoning the recurring thoughts of sadness that accompany our passage through grief.
Return to this breath in times of stress and circular thinking. Stay focused on the exhale.
